Topsy Turvy, Marauders Style
by ragged-sneakers
Summary: A mischievous twist on the song featured in Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame. I heard this and immediately thought of our four favorite pranksters.


James, Sirius, and Remus casually strode into the Great Hall. The looks on their faces clearly said that there was going to be a prank pulled, but they calmly sat down at the Gryffindor Table. Everyone was just starting to turn back to their breakfasts when some music started to blare. The Marauders grinned and stood up. Lily Evans had just convinced herself that the MOST DEFINETLY WERE _**NOT**_ going to sing, when James and Sirius burst into song.

James and Sirius: Come one, come all!

Remus: Leave your looms and milking stools

Sirius: Coop the hens and pen the mules

Remus and James: Come one, come all!

James: Close the churches and the schools

Sirius: It's the day for breaking rules

James: Come and join the feast of ...

Remus: Fools!

Everyone was surprised at just how well the boys could sing. Sirius said "Coop the hens and pen the mules" in just the way that made everyone KNOW he was thinking "ass", and his devilish expression on "It's the day for breaking rules" made everyone just a bit frightened. But there was more!

James: Once a year we throw a party here in town, Once a year we turn all Paris upside down

Remus: Ev'ry man's a king and ev'ry king's a clown, Once again it's Topsy Turvy Day

Sirius: It's the day the devil in us gets released, It's the day we mock the prig and shock the priest

James, Sirius, Remus: Ev'rything is topsy turvy at the Feast of Fools!  
Remus and Sirius: Topsy turvy!

James: Ev'rything is upsy daisy!

Remus and James: Topsy turvy!

Sirius: Ev'ryone is acting crazy

Remus: Dross is gold and weeds are a bouquet

James: That's the way on Topsy Turvy Day!

Everyone was staring at them, confused. This didn't sound like any of the other attempts to poke fun at Snape. What were they playing at? But no, the song wasn't over yet!

James and Sirius: Topsy Turvy!

Remus: Beat the drums and blow the trumpets!

James and Sirius: Topsy Turvy!

Remus: Join the bums and thieves and strumpets

James: Streaming in from Chartres to Calais

Remus: Scurvy knaves are extra scurvy

Sirius: On the sixth of "Januervy"

James, Sirius, Remus: All because it's Topy Turvy Day!

James and Sirius: Come one, come all!

Remus: Hurry, hurry, here's your chance... See the myst'ry and romance

James and Sirius: Come one, come all

Remus: See the finest girl in France; Make an entrance to entrance! Dance la Esmeralda... Dance!

Remus somehow managed to say "Dance la Esmeralda... Dance!" with a wild, demented look in his eyes. James and Sirius, who hadn't been expecting it, were staring at him. For a few moments, no one noticed Professor McGonagall getting up on the table, her robes replaced with some sort of elaborate costume, and beginning to belly dance until she started yelling.

Sirius: Here it is, the moment you've been waiting for!

James: Here it is, you know exactly what's in store!

Remus: Now's the time we laugh until our sides get sore

James, Sirius, Remus: Now's the time we crown the King of Fools!

"You all remember last year's King?!" Sirius bellowed, pointing to Lucius Malfoy. This was beginning to make sense to the students, and they grinned in anticipation.

James: So make a face that's horrible and frightening!

Remus: Make a face as gruesome as a gargoyle's wing!  
Sirius: For the face that's ugliest will be the King of Fools! Why?

Severus Snape, seeing the inevitable, tried to leave. But he'd been stuck to his chair! He scowled, growling "Potter!"

James and Remus: Topsy turvy!

Sirius: Ugly folk, forget your shyness!

James and Remus: Topsy turvy!

Sirius: You could soon be called Your Highness!

James and Remus: Put your foulest features on display! Be the king of Topsy Turvy Day!

James: Ev'rybody!

Sirius pointed his wand at Snape, and a goofy jester's hat appeared on his head, with the felt letters "King of Fools" sewn onto it. Everyone grinned, finally seeing the joke.

Remus and Sirius: Once a year we throw a party here in town!

James: (Hail to the king!)

Sirius and James: Once a year we turn all Paris upside down!

Remus: (Oh, what a king!)  
Remus and James: Once a year, the ugliest will wear a crown!

Sirius: (Girls, give a kiss)

Remus: Once a year on Topsy Turvy Day!

James and Sirius: (We've never had a king like this)

James: And it's the day we do the things that we deplore! On the other three hundred and sixty-four!

Sirius: Once a year we love to drop in; Where the beer is never stoppin'

Remus: For the chance to pop some popinjay

All: And pick a king who'll put the "top" in  
Topsy Turvy Day!  
Mad and crazy, upsy-daisy, Topsy Turvy Day!

The Great Hall dissolved into hysterical laughter. Once again, a prank well pulled by the Marauders.


End file.
